#i also have a patreon which actually has things on there lmao

[codthefishgod]

Analysis post for episode 83 of Faroff, AKA Truth: Part 2

Split below for spoilers!

I am VERY sorry that this is late LMAO, this is probably one of my longest analysis posts so far and I haven't read through it all again yet so I hope it makes sense--knowing me I probably forgot something. 💀

Okay, unfortunately I did skip last episode's analysis post (I've been in a crappy place recently, I'm recovering more now though), BUT I'm BACK and THANK FUCK BECAUSE HOLY CRAP THIS EPISODE WAS JUICY-

First off, Tobias getting really and properly angry for the first time? Tobias in general seems to make a point of never showing ANY extreme emotions, happy or sad or otherwise. He's usually in a state of neutrality, and there have only been a handful of times where he's done otherwise (example of one of these times below.)

Fun fact, when I first saw this panel it was because someone on Instagram had it as their profile picture (they had it before the episode came out to non-Patreon subscribers), and I genuinely didn't think it was real (as in a canon panel) because I didn't think Tobias would show that much emotion until I actually saw the episode myself!

This is yet another way that he's the polar opposite of Fenn, considering Fenn is almost always showing extreme emotions and it's when he's calm that's odd for him.

Obviously this isn't because Tobias doesn't experience extreme emotions, but because it was dangerous to express any sort of vulnerability when he lived with his family. It's become ingrained in his behaviour.

So.

Him being genuinely, seriously, all out PISSED for the first time in Faroff history. Occurring at the same time as him being truly vulnerable about his past for the first time. It's no wonder that he has a lot of pent up anger about his past, considering everything, but what IS interesting is how it's manifesting, considering Tobias has never really directly spoken about his feelings towards his family on screen.

Most of his anger doesn't seem to be directed at his family for treating him badly, but at himself for not meeting their expectations.

He blames himself for them not showing him any love or attention. And he also seems to believe that maybe, just maybe, if he does the right thing or is in a bad enough situation, there's still a chance for them to accept him.

There's this panel to show that, not to mention that I've thought for a while that this is the reason behind why he's looking forward to going back to Vaylin (not so much since the Edward announcement but 😬.) I think he thinks that if he just does what they want for long enough, or at least stays out of their way, they'll care about him. If he fulfills this imaginary role he thinks he's supposed to, they'd love him. Of course, we know this to be untrue--just look at Edward--but one of Tobias' main motivations throughout this series has been shown to be the desire to be loved. And when all he's ever been taught is that usefulness = love, of course he's going to gauge everything by that.

Speaking of this panel specifically, this is actually kind of news to me, considering I've suspected for a long time that Tobias purposely failed out. Turns out that's not the case. He is genuinely, seriously, horribly bad at being a soldier.

Which brings me into my next point.

Fenn being forced to consider a new type of worth.

Throughout this series, Fenn has shown several times that he values himself entirely (or at least mostly) by how good a soldier he is. To him, that is All That Matters--serving your country and doing it well. Tobias has always acted as if he thought this was dumb, but it's being revealed to us now, that NO--Tobias was ALSO brainwashed for as long as he's been alive (though in a different way), and he ALSO values himself by how good a soldier he is. He's just a lot better at hiding that fact.

And this isn't a situation where Tobias actually is good at it and is just being hard on himself. He's the real deal. He fucking sucks at being a soldier.

But we also know that Fenn doesn't think Tobias is useless. We know Fenn values him. And Fenn knows that too. So he will be forced to confront this--that maybe being a soldier ISN'T all that matters, and there's more than one way a person can be important and worthy of love. Not only for Tobi, but for himself.

Continuing on the note of Fenn...

This also tells us some new information. What Fenn says about Tobias has a much bigger impact on him than previously thought. Similar to what I was talking about earlier, Tobias has always acted like Fenn's insults don't mean anything to him. But Tobias bringing up what Fenn has said about him in the past tells us something different--they DO hurt him.

I'll admit that I've seen the similarities in how Fenn (particularly early Fenn) sometimes talks to Tobias and how Tobias' family talked to him. But it's never been exactly clear how much this affects Tobias. It seems that he's been internalising at least some of the stuff Fenn says to him.

Now this is a dark take on this whole situation, but. Abuse victims are more likely to end up in abusive relationships because they're used to abusive dynamics, and may even see normal/healthy relationships as uncomfortable. I am NOT saying Fenn is abusive--he has his own reasons for acting the way he did, many of which are completely understandable from his perspective, though misguided. I AM saying that Tobias has acted uneasy and/or confused in the past when Fenn has acted in a way that contradicted his family's abuse (telling him his art is great, that his ideas are worth listening to, etc.)

This is part of why I think Fenn and Tobias aren't quite ready to be in a romantic relationship yet. There is a certain number of things that Fenn can show Tobias through treating him right, but Tobias shouldn't be dependent on Fenn to know what he deserves and what he's worth. And he should know what sort of treatment isn't okay. He should be able to tell Fenn if something he says hurts him.

Fenn would never hurt Tobias on purpose, but things happen when a person is prone to not speaking out for themselves. Tobias needs to have more character development so they can both have a more healthy relationship in the long run.

...Alright. Moving on.

Minor detail but it was confirmed that Tobias kept his identity a secret because he was afraid of Fenn reacting badly to it. I think most of us suspected that, though.

On a MUCH more positive note, we're about to get into Fenn's reaction!!!

In the past, Fenn has usually only helped Tobias when he's making an excuse for why it's okay, or when he's put their circumstances out of his mind and is refusing to think about them. For example, Fenn cooking for Tobias in the beginning and making the excuse that it's unfair if he's better fed than Tobias, or Fenn pretending that he and Tobias aren't enemies when they were slow dancing together.

But this time, there were no excuses. If he was following the law, he would report him. There was no ignoring their situation or putting it out of his mind. Hell, even Tobias himself threw it right in front of Fenn.

And yet he still chose to help him. I don't know if this development will continue as strongly after this episode--after all, Fenn tends to have a slight development regression after major steps in their relationship--but to me this is showing that he's at least getting closer to not needing some sort of excuse to justify him caring about Tobias. He's getting closer to being able to admit to himself that even if he didn't "have" to interact with him, he would still want to. And he's getting closer to being at a point where he would readily pick Tobias over Sona.

Not only that, but something else was missing as well.

You might've noticed that Fenn sometimes shakes before making a decision that'll bring him closer to Tobi. [Examples below]

I think it signifies internal conflict and struggling with making the decision.

He didn't do it this time, which to me means that this was not a difficult decision to make for him.

And that's not even mentioning the fact that Fenn called Tobias TOBI for the first time!!!

The way this went is quite vastly different from the way the first time Fenn called Tobias "Tobias" went. When that happened, as we remember, it was quite....DRAMATIC. Fenn basically regretted his decision almost immediately and flipped his shit.

But this time around, it was actually a very natural delivery. There was not nearly as much fanfare around it, and so far Fenn is not having the same sort of negative reaction as he did to calling Tobias "Tobias" for the first time. This makes a lot of sense to me, because the two names mark significantly different steps in their relationship.

Calling Tobias "Tobias" was the first proper break into "MAYBEEEEEEEEEEE he isn't the scum of the earth." Fenn reacted very dramatically to it because he had only just accepted that a truce between them was possible and was still deep in Vaylinians-are-inherently-evil-ville. He saw it as himself slipping up and I don't think he even really understood why he chose to do it the first time.

Calling Tobias "Tobi" for the first time, though? Definitely past the "maybe he isn't a bad person" mark. They already have a sort of relationship at this point, unlike the first situation where their "relationship" was basically them just shouting at and insulting each other. Calling Tobias "Tobi" is almost... A term of acceptance to me, if that makes sense? As in, "I'm NOT just doing this because we have a truce, or because I just feel guilty, but because I care about you and you specifically." There is no real excuse for him calling Tobias "Tobi." The only explanation is that he wants to, because he cares about him. It's calmer because it's accepting that. It was deliberate.

They also represent different things. I've talked in the past before about how Fenn says "Vaylinian" when he sees Tobias principally as an enemy, and "Tobias" when he sees Tobias as a real person. I think "Tobi" is not only seeing Tobias as a real person, but as an important person. A good person.

I also think "Tobi" is the signifier that Fenn and Tobias are officially friends now. Before, they always felt like they were this weird in between. Not friends, but not really enemies either. Now I think we've crossed the line into friendship.

And, though I may be wrong about this, I don't think Fenn will be calling Tobias "Vaylinian" at all after this episode. I just don't think Fenn will see Tobias in that way anymore, and now that he knows that Tobias has such low self esteem, I feel he wouldn't want to contribute to it.

Actually, I think this change may be one of the most permanent ones, purely because I don't think Fenn could bring himself to be mean to Tobias again knowing everything that he already thinks of himself. Tobias already thinks that he's useless, that he's a bad soldier, that he's a failure, that he's not someone worthy of love or friendship. Fenn is too good hearted a person to encourage thoughts like that. He can't just change his mind and go all "oh actually I hate you again," he has to think more about how what he does and says actually affects Tobias, and I think he'll become more considerate as a result. I even think Fenn will become more forthcoming about initiating physical contact and other positive interactions. (Speaking of physical contact, this isn't the first time they've hugged, but it's the first time Fenn has hugged Tobias and the first time they've both been an active part of a hug. The other time was kinda just Tobi hugging Fenn and Fenn being too in shock to respond LMAO.)

Overall, I think they're both going to be closer as a result of this interaction. This is the first time Tobias has been truly vulnerable with Fenn, and this is a great sign that the trust in their relationship won't be so one sided anymore (I do believe Fenn has trusted Tobias more than Tobias has trusted him on an emotional level.) Fenn's reaction was VERY important, especially considering Tobi's main reason for not telling Fenn about this was in fear of his reaction. It's proving Tobi's fears wrong and assuring him that it IS safe to tell Fenn about these sorts of things. This is INCREDIBLY important if we want Tobias to get some proper character development. I've always said that I don't think Tobias could get real character development until Fenn got his, and I think this proves that. This is the starting point of Tobias' development arc, and it would've never happened if Fenn hadn't gotten the development he needed to react the way he did. Tobias needs a safe person that he's never really had before, and it's starting to show that Fenn can be that for him, so he can begin to confront his past and realise he deserves better. Fenn's influence especially will probably help him accept the idea that he might not be in the wrong. :)

(I also think the more they both grow away from the people and forces that brainwashed them, the more receptive they'll probably become to the idea of trying to avoid being sent back to their home countries. Escape arc when? 👁)

Thanks for reading!

[iraprince]

gonna show u guys a little opalescent highlight hack i threw together today

rainbow gradient above your main figure (i usually have all my main figure folders/layers in one big folder, so i can clip gradient maps + adjustments to it!). liquify tool to push the colors around a bit. STAY WITH ME I KNOW IT LOOKS STUPID RN I'M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS

THEN: set it to add/glow (or the equivalent in ur drawing program), lower the opacity a bit, and apply a layer mask. then u can edit the mask with whatever tools you like to create rainbow highlights!!

in this case i'm mostly using the lasso fill tool to chip out little facets, but i've also done some soft airbrushing to bring in larger rainbow swirls in some areas. it's pretty subtle here, but you can see it better when i remove the gradient map that's above everything, since below i'm working in greyscale:

more granular rambling beneath the cut!

u could also just do this with a brush that has color jitter, but what i like about using layer masks for highlight/shading layers is how simple and reversible it makes everything. i can use whatever brushes i want, and erasing/redoing things is super low stakes, which is great when i often approach this stuff with a super trial-and-error approach.

example: have u ever thrown a gradient w multiple colors over an entire piece, set it to multiply etc, and then tried to erase it away to carve out shadows/highlights? it's super frustrating, bc it looks really good, but if u erase something and then change ur mind later, u basically would have to like. recreate the gradient in the area u want to cover up again. that's how i used to do things before figuring out layer masks!! but masking basically creates a version of this with INFINITE undo bc u can erase/re-place the base layer whenever u want.

anyway, back to rambling about this specific method:

i actually have TWO of these layers on this piece (one with the liquified swirls shown above, and another that's just a normal concentric circle gradient with much broader stripes) so i can vary the highlights easily as needed.

since i've basically hidden the rainbow pattern from myself, the colors in each brushstroke i make will kind of be a surprise, which isn't always great -- but easily fixable! for example, if i carve out a highlight and it turns out the rainbow pattern in that area is way too stripey, i can just switch from editing the mask to editing the main layer and blur that spot a bit.

also, this isn't a full explanation of the overall transparency effect in these screencaps! there's other layer stuff happening below the rainbow highlights, but the short version is i have all this character's body parts in different folders, each with their own lineart and background fill, and then the fill opacity is lowered and there's multiply layers clipped to that -- blah blah it's a whole thing. maybe i'll have a whole rundown on this on patreon later. uhhh i think that's it tho! i hope u get something useful out of this extremely specific thing i did lmao

[genericpuff]

Dyou ever feel disappointed (?) that there aren't more eyes on LR? I know you keep it on the DL to avoid Rachel's wrath but I 100% know the only reason it's not more popular is that not enough people know about it. You put in a lot of work that we all really love but I know the notes count could be higher. Is this something you care about? We can try to spread it more if so, but going back to the Rachel/not intruding on LO spaces point...

Ouu so that's a good question, but honestly... nah, not really. And I'm not even saying that to be "humble" or whatever, it's literally just... what y'all are seeing in Rekindled is, to me, a step away from my usual patterns and habits that I've been dealing with for years now. It's forced me out of my comfort zones, but most importantly, it's got me creating purely for the fun of it, for the self-indulgence, without any of the usual pressures I've forced upon myself in the past for the work I do to "mean something" or for it to "be successful". It's not just the tip of a massive iceberg, it's practically a whole ass detour. Rekindled is like one of those road trip movies where the reluctant stickler gets strung along by the aloof weirdos, driven off the beaten path, and winds up realizing by the end of the crazy journey that it was worth taking the long way home.

That's not to say making Rekindled doesn't come with its own unique pressures or that I don't take it seriously, but they're different from the pressures I've dealt with in the past and the nature of Rekindled being what it is means... I don't have to take it as seriously as the car crash that was my original work prior to it? 💀😆 (which I already took way more seriously than what was healthy for me, in hindsight). Like I can take it seriously as a creative project that I wanna see through, especially where it's meant to "fix" stuff that felt misguided / done poorly in LO, but because it's effectively fanfiction, I can separate it from the expectations that came from my original work. It can never pay my bills, so I don't have to worry about it doing so. It shouldn't be the only thing I'm ever known for, so I don't need it to amount to my legacy.

A good example of what I mean are what you brought up - the notes count. Thing is, compared to social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook and even Youtube, posting exclusively to Tumblr over the past couple years has been great for my mental health. Unlike those other platforms, my follower count isn't on full display to both myself and others. There's no real bearing on notes beyond clout, and that clout only exists within Tumblr - going "viral" on this hellsite doesn't amount to the same things as going viral on a platform like Twitter, for the most part my work still stays within its respective audience where it's meant to be and even if I do have an episode "take off" in notes... it doesn't really matter? Like to me there's virtually no difference between a post that has 300 notes and a post that has 30,000 notes. And I actually do have a couple posts that have "taken off" like that. It's neat but it's also like... okay, life goes on. Except now I'm gonna keep getting notifications about that one post forever LMAO

Granted, it would be different if the posts were actually intended to get as many eyes on it as possible - like if they were posts meant to generate income in some way through advertising Patreon, Ko-Fi, merch shops, etc. - but it's rare that I ever do that because obviously with Rekindled being what it is, I can't really profit off it anyways.

And that's okay! I've spent enough years worrying over the online "gains" and bearing the weight of my work's responsibility to my livelihood on my shoulders.

Rekindled is fun. Even when it's stressful, when an episode goes up late or when I'm still finding myself procrastinating, it's fun. It's neat that it now has a TV Tropes page and that there are some Youtubers who talk about it every now and then, but... the novelty of those things comes paired with the pressure and fear of knowing my work is being perceived outside of my own scope. Sure, that's just what happens when you share your work online, but even I , in all of the hubris I had to have to create Rekindled in the first place, can't pretend like I'm infallible to that sort of thing. Every time a Youtuber talks about it, every time there's a thread in /r/webtoons about it, every time someone besides myself uses the #lore rekindled tags, I have to live with the small but real consequences of doing what I do - the anons taking it upon themselves to judge me in my own inbox, the Youtube commenters forming their own opinions based on what they assume are my intentions (even when those assumptions are often false), the redditors arguing back and forth over the virtue of transformative rewrites.

It's a small price to pay, for everything that I do here. I can't very well sit here on my pedestal talking shit about something like LO without taking some of that shit in return regarding my own work. It's only natural people will have misinformed opinions about what I do, or will take it upon themselves to dissect and debate and discuss my work regardless of whether they even like the work or not. I try to take it as proactively as I can, that it's a metric of success in and of itself - what I'm making has made people feel something, for some joy, and for others, frustration. The art has done everything it could ever do, for better and for worse - it's made people feel and think and talk. Most of all, it's made me feel and think and talk, and create, and experiment, and fail, and succeed in ways I never thought myself capable before. It's more than I ever expected - and all I really needed to come out of all this.

----------

All that aside, it's not like Rekindled isn't already doing a lot in the way of "expanding my reach", so to speak. Though it is just Tumblr, I've gotten to meet so many amazing readers and writers and artists through this project, and that's at the heart of why I make comics at all. I'm not joking or exaggerating when I say that Rekindled literally couldn't be what it is without the community that surrounds it. And that's a community that I'm hoping will still be interested in hanging with lil' old me even after Rekindled is over.

Rekindled isn't my first rodeo and it certainly won't be my last. In fact, I'm currently (finally) overcoming some of the burnout that's been persisting over the past couple years with my original project, and I'm breaking down walls I literally couldn't have broken down before. I hadn't realized I had been suffocating, and Rekindled wound up being that breath of fresh air that I needed to live again.

It's gonna take time, and there's still a lot of healing happening on my end, but I'm making plans again for what I really wanna do esp for when Rekindled is over, and it's exciting, and scary, and most of all, hopeful.

So all that's to say, if you (anon) or you (everyone else) are really interested in "boosting" my work and getting more eyes on it... well, I suppose I better start sharing more of it outside of just Rekindled, shouldn't I? I hope that when I do, it's welcomed as eagerly as you all welcomed Rekindled. It'll be quite different, and likely won't be everyone's cup of tea, but I hope all the work I've done on Rekindled so far - and what we still have left to accomplish in the future - proves what I'm capable of and allows for the opportunity to really connect with my work, wholly me. Y'all took a chance on me when I first started posting those lil' glow edits and the first scrappy sketches of Rekindled back in the day, so I hope when the time comes, y'all can take that chance on me again <3

And hey, here's a fun fact for you to close out this long response - though it might not be a major platform, judging by the metrics I can see on the surface from other comics alongside it, I'm pretty sure Rekindled is carrying like 90% of the current traffic numbers on Dillyhub LMAO Like seriously, the next highest liked / subbed comic I could find on there didn't even amount to a third of the amount of likes and subs I have on there just through Rekindled. It's actually hilarious, but also kinda sad, because damn... the devs really have abandoned that place. So it's not exactly all that impressive. But that's pretty much exactly why I chose it as a mirror in the first place - I sure as shit wasn't gonna test my luck posting it to Webtoons or Tapas, and the only reason I even wanted a mirror site in the first place was to give non-Tumblr users a place to read it (without being badgered to make an account and without having to sift through all my rants and essays LMAO) so Dillyhub just kinda made sense as a place that was functional enough to host it but not big enough to draw any unwanted attention. Sooo I guess what I'm saying is, you're welcome Dillyhub?? 😆

[lacesoflove]

guess who’s back on tumblr after trying to unalive themselves 😍 i don’t really wanna talk about my absence and go into the depths of the reasoning why, so i’ll just talk about why this account was made - which was for hamzah and slushy noobz. i want to have my own little thinkpiece on the match as well as my place in the slushy community moving forward

i want to say the match and the production is the reason why i love them soo much. they have such an ability of creating cinema with their videos, hence why one of my favourite video from them is the camping video (i tend to watch this video more for comfort rather than for humour though) – and there’s an immense amount of payoff as a viewer watching their content, you can see all the layered inside iokes (i.e having aldo, and nettspend’s producers) and internet jokes culminate in something so carefully crafted (like the way chase’s commentary was genuinely good??). and then the obvious reasons as to why i liked it, hamzah looked so damn good, and he knows it too (i also find martin attractive too, i’d just prefer not to talk about it too much in respect to his relationship). there’s something so beautifully boyish about their content that i can’t find something else (as much as i love them and before anyone says it, no - the dancing gamers cannot replace hamzah and martin and that’s okay!)

however this video kind of cemented why i don’t think i’ll continue regularly engaging with their content. this video kind of felt like a bittersweet ending to one of my favourite eras in my life (watching them). and before i proceed, ik the reddit fans are gonna be annoying - on a side note of the reddit fans i feel like the reddit community is so pedantic over small stuff and because of the few, genuine bad eggs in the community, they over correct and just get so bitter and mad about everything (i.e them being so cruel to fanfic writers) and call everyone chronically online whilst they use the same old “*insert trending braintrot joke* 💜”. i feel so aged out in a fandom even though i’m 18 - i can’t imagine how the slushies who are actually around hamzah and martin’s age feel when their fandom is so reminiscent and full of the same 14 year olds that i’m convinced are the reincarnations of the 2021 14 year old dsmp fans. definitely more sane, i’ll give them that. but community aside, at least reddit community, i want to talk about something another one of my mutuals mentioned recently in their own post and it’s how money hungry they seem. two things can exist at once, let’s get that straight - hamzah and martin don’t get a lot of sponsorships but also being upset that so much of this well awaited come back was heavy promotion for the patreon which, mind you, had a decent amount of members subscribed (i do commend hamzah for encouraging people to unsubscribe over the break!) and also they get money off of ad revenue. i just personally find it egregious that their hoodies, the out of character ones, which are at least unique designs unlike them literally reselling temu shirts like the “find x” shirts, are the same price, in my currency, to the essentials fear of god hoodies.

for any south africans here, it was around like R900 for a hoodie! which is gross im sorry :)

there are also other reasons im distanced from them, and its their associations with chase and claire - i made a, now deleted, post about this before but chase has this annoying tendency i notice in white ‘queer’ (i think he’s queer lmao) men where they speak in blaccents, which was heavily highlighted to me when he was a commentator and he was able to speak in a ‘normal’ white accent, and claire made weird ass comments about black women. as well as having fucking idubzz (who im not sure why was even invited when like sm people are like “who even is he??”) who literally had to make an apology about the fact he created a racist culture with his platform, years after the damage was done. i also have other smaller issues with them that would definitely actually get me cancelled (not even over on the reddit but here). but idfk, what are yalls thoughts?

[infamous-if]

Dec ✮ 12 ✮ 2024 – update

Part of me hates doing these mostly because it's a whole lotta nothing and me just repeating everything I said the last update (lol) but I do like doing it because I like keeping people updated, even if it's a non-update. I may sound like a broken record (pun not intended) but I know a lot of people don't catch my updates every time so it's nice to just keep people informed yk yk

✮ — Part 2 + rewrite

Fun fact: I had written an entire essay about my excitement for the rewrite and chapter 3 and beyond but it got too long!

It boiled down to me wondering why I'm so excited for this rewrite and realizing it's because I feel comfortable enough to approach it with complete creative freedom. I wrote the first iteration of the demo with the constant worries swimming in my head like "I hope people understand what I'm trying to say here" and "I hope this situation is being read the way I intended for it to be read." And I think I sort of had those thoughts tenfold while writing Part 2. If you paid attention, you can probably see where I was trying to shut down certain discussions in the narrative lmao

Recently I had a tiny epiphany and reminded myself that it's not always about what I intend to write, but what is being understood by each reader. And yes this is basic writing 101 but let me have this moment of clarity okay. Embracing that means I can proceed with Infamous without holding back and sticking to my guns in regards to what I want for this story aka I'm just going to write what I write and like....not worry about the rest you feel (while of course integrating the common critiques and suggestions and improving on the things Infamous falls short in—I am not Shakespeare lmao)

ANYWAY my point is that I'm excited to fix up the demo !!! and just go back to it with complete confidence in myself and write whatever the heck feels right to me (and write the rest of the story lolol) and return with a better story than I have now for everyone!!

✮ — December will be for

planning what I'm going to improve and squeezing that in a reworked outline so it can flow much better narratively.

Outlining Chapter 3 and hopefully have the bare bones first draft drafted up which is mostly just be writing blocks of descriptions

I'm not sure I'll have anything substantial to justify looking for beta testers so soon yet but maybe!

work on my spice writing babey writing/reading spice makes me actually physically recoil but im determined to get better! which reminds me to finish the 6k follower gifts!

And also take a small breather because I am moving!

✮ — Patreon

I've already mentioned this on Patreon and a few times on here, but I do want to reiterate that Patreon content is coming out in bulk this month, in case anyone was wondering why I'm not posting as frequently. The content is still the same in terms of the quantity, it just won't be released every few days! thank you guys for being understanding of that <3

✮ —

My activity has is decreasing little by little due to my move but I do read every question and try to at least answer one question a day. I get quite a few mentions lately so I have to sort through those since I do get tagged in things, but I miss them due to my notifications. Usually I hope for the best and hope tracking the tag puts it on my dashboard <3 im not ignoring anyone!

That's all for now! Hope everyone has a happy December and Happy Holidays!

[wrenmkingsley]

Update: As Trading is currently stuck in business processing hell, that is I popped it into draft2digital on Monday and it's not online anywhere yet, I made a patreon. I haven't been approved for a shop on there yet either, but you can join for 2 bucks and download the epub, mobi and/or pdf.

So, uh, I'm publishing my first book next week! It's just a 17k novella, but I'm already working on the next entry in the series. (Which will probably be twice as long. Not that I'm trying to do that, but you know how it is.)

A cosy, smutty fantasy novella, about a healer with self-esteem issues and a smitten demon. If only Tassilo had known what he was getting himself into with that first deal… But now there is an amorous demon dogging his step and with Tassilo's line of work, Charon has plenty of opportunity to offer him deals he can't refuse. As an adventuring party's tag-along charity case, Tassilo tries his hardest to earn his keep. He's useless in a fight and calling himself a healer would be blasphemy, but it's enough to patch up his companions if necessary. Tassilo does not know what Charon sees in a wannabe healer in hand-me-down boots, but the demon is eager to trade for time with Tassilo. Charon is charming, devastatingly handsome, and just a bit of a dork. Tassilo would be all over him if only he had an actual choice in the matter. But how can Tassilo refuse him, when Charon only shows up when the party's lives are on the line? When Charon's demands escalate to a day and a night spent in the demon's home, Tassilo resigns himself to being dragged to hell. Really, things would be far simpler if anyone had bothered to explain to him the basics of demonic courtship.

It'll be on all major ebook stores for 1,99, but if you're short on cash, just send me a dm, and I'll be honoured to send you a copy! Your access to books should never depend on your wallet. (I wanted to make it free on my website, but that's apparently a no no if you want to publish on amazon. Never mind that I don't have a website yet, lmao.) I'll also be looking into making it available through libraries.

I mean, I know the chances of me making back the money for coverart and editing on this book are slim to none, but that's okay. I'm in this for the long haul now.

I want to thank all of you who support The Other Shoe. The incredible reaction to what started as working title "accidental sugar daddy gale" has blown me absolutely away and given me the courage to really pursue writing. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Coverart @klaradraws. Thank you again, you were a joy to work with!

[asmogorna]

Okay so there’s this ww artist on ig called like tooth lilys or something and he’s always causing drama in the ww fandom and he mouthed off about your art and now heaps of insta ww fans are like talking about you :| free publicity?

ahhhh so thats whats happening .. lmao thats crazy

i checked out their story, and i sure doooo love how they leave some things out when talking about both situations that they mentioned to make me look worse ..

ok so

warning, yap session incoming

the "will wood in a (miku) binder" thing happened back in fall 2023 when i was still semi new to the fandom and didnt know a lot of things. so tho i to this day i dont think it was that big of a deal, i wouldnt do it today

it was an artwork made for shits and giggles, the context of which i have explained here before. i never meant to imply that will wood is trans and i certainly dont "headcanon" him as that. my curse is that even when joking around i tend to try and make my art look good, so i get why people thought it was unironic. and i know that it sounds like a lame ass excuse, but it legit didnt cross my mind that people would think i drew will wood as a trans guy or smth. legit my only thought process was "funny haha internet thing" + "my favorite thing" = "good idea"

now the usage of his real name is something i am genuinely sorry for, but it was an accident and a genuine mistake on my part. i remember seeing someone mention it casually in some comment section, and assuming that it was ok, since i didnt know he was in any way against it. (i also thought that it was the same name that he used in "the real will wood" in that one section cus it sounded a bit similar).

when i was informed about the fact that he doesnt want it spread around i deleted the post right away and apologized, so bringing it up like something i did on purpose and out of malicious intent is a tad bit .. misfitting, if you can use that word

now the hot topic of the day: my waywood art

i have said this before and i will say this again, how i feel about rpf is solely based off how the people involved feel about it

to clarify: i never drew anything inappropriate or even suggestive with them, the "worst" thing is 2 simple sketches of them smoochin. or. this.

idk if this is what they were referring to when talking about me drawing will wood and gerard way "making out" (specifically. because i think "making out" implies to be more sexual stuff than small kisses). and if so, then it once again feels like blowing things out of proportion

and now the point i want you to get: will wood wouldnt give a flying fuck

like i said earlier, i never drew anything inappropriate, because that would actually cross will's existent and real boundaries. you know, the ones that he stated

im not making some conspiracy theories about him being gay, like some people seem to imply in their inbox messages to me

im not sending a whole ass smut fanfiction to litwtc gmail or something, i dont bother him in instagram dms asking if he wants to fuck gerard way, im not shipping him with people who he actually knows personally and has to look in the eyes of from time to time

im not doing anything that he would actually care about

him and chris have joked about him being attracted to gerard before, and though im not saying that you can joke about everything theyve ever joked about, i feel like in our case its clear that will clearly doesnt care about the implications ? (i generally believe that ww fans would get their panties twisted about less things if more of them listened to what these 2 talk about so calmly on litwtc but i digress)

if he saw that some random teenager on tumblr is drawing him and gerard way (gasp of horror) holding hands, he'd laugh at it max and then move on with his day

people are treating the whole situation like i posted pictures of him from when he was a kid or leaked patreon content or drew him fully naked or anything else that, you know, would actually affect him in one way or another

what im doing is innocent fun which isnt even likely to reach either of them. will wood very rarely checks tumblr and, once again, i genuinely dont believe he would care. and gerard way aint got no internet + he doesnt care x 2

it is weird but rn this is what brings me the most joy, even if its silly to say. both will wood and gerard way mean a lot to me and putting them in situations together makes me happy. i am but a child full of fun whimsy

i wont be posting any more explicitly romantic art to avoid more drama, and i also wont be responding to all the anon messages i received because there are like .. too many of them. an overwhelming amount i'd say. sorry about that

i really didnt mean to cause such a fuss, and i understand why some people might be uncomfortable with what i do

i fully understand why you would dislike my waywood hyperfixation shenanigans, and i dont have a problem w you over that, but treating me like pure evil because of a thing so insignificant is just.. overdoing it

once again, i will be toning it down, but it really isnt the end of the world if i dare to draw will wood and gerard way being a tad bit gay (which is, i apparently need to mention, not me actually saying that will wood the alternative musician is a homosexual gay who is in a genuine for real actual real gay homosexual relationship with gerard fucking way the lead singer of my chemical romance. i think speculating on other people's sexuality and gender identity is boooo tomato tomato tomato)

sorry for the rant and sorry to all who were disappointed by my lack of remorse. come back in a couple years when i turn 18 and stop having fun and artistic freedom

thank you for your attention and i hope i at least cleared some things up to those who werent w me throughout every event where i get involved in fandom drama

bye bye

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

Seeing a show would not be complete without sharing a thought dump but this will be very chaotic and not as richpez focused as you all are probably here for I’M SORRY

Some mild spoilers but nothing that will ruin any of the shows for you

Starting with Gross Prophs which for real might be my favourite show now but it’s hard for it not to be when I love a small cast and a Tin Can Fam cast? But the music is ridiculously good and they all sound so good singing it, it’s so silly and it’s fun that it’s not really plot or character driven, we just get to watch these people live in this world and the audience interaction is REALLY fun

Specific things:

In the first show when Lauren was doing her presentation her mic pack was falling down her underwear which she said out loud and fucking husband of the year comes rushing onstage to fix it. Had to be done but also insane of him

Definitely after the first show you could tell when Joey was trying to make Lauren break and it worked enough times

They restarted the first Saturday show because a cue didn’t happen which also made Lauren giggly

The tech for Sydney was a little wacky and there was a solid couple of minutes Joey and Lauren’s mics were on when they shouldn’t have been while Brian was doing his presentation but luckily they’re good at whispering

There’s a part of the show where two of the characters are sucking up to the other one and Joey told Lauren “you can eat on me” before realising how it sounded (probably more context needed here but oh well)

They were touchier in a lot of the shows than they needed to be but near the end of the Sydney show Joey fully started holding Lauren’s waist and stomach and it was incredibly unnecessary

For Choose Our Destiny they really fell right back into telling stories that don’t quite make sense and forgetting what they’re supposed to be doing and everything they’ve already said. And Lauren and Joey have literally never stopped being touchy when they don’t need to, so. But they were tame as far as COD has been known to go! More than anything I remember Lauren showing off her ass in the Sydney show which WAS part of the show

TCB absolutely dipped from the Spies screenings after doing a little Q&A intro which I have absolute respect for. Corey’s mom was watching and sitting next to us in Melbourne though lol. Corey did film a little bit including in Sydney someone in the audience shouting “Lauren” after Joey’s “gotta do this thing with the wife” which I fear wrote that one off for being posted

Like I mentioned The Great Debate might be my favourite one they’ve done which definitely was helped by Lauren being a panelist and also being front row and them talking to us when the tech wasn’t working lmao

Specific things:

Lauren came out filming for her patreon vlog and Joey called it out and said they were getting proceeds (you can see her filming but that part they cut)

Husband and wife/work wife stuff is all on the digital ticket GET IT

They cut out us figuring out how tall the trophy is based on how tall Lauren is which is sad because it was very cute and the sneaky pic I took was bad

The rest of this is all just interactions we had with them because some of them are so insane I fear I’m never getting over them and it’s wild to think it was only 18 months ago that Joey vaguely recognised me

The first two nights in Melbourne we were talking outside waiting for our uber when they came out to leave in theirs. The first night Lauren spotted us and waved first unprompted and Joey could tell we’re really normal about them and said see you tomorrow at more shows? The second night Joey asked if we had a good time and said see you tomorrow again. (We saw them leave the third night too but we were like they actually don’t need to see us again lmao)

Marty was asking people’s names before the meet and greet but he didn’t even get the chance to ask me the first time before Joey’s immediately saying “Saaaam” which, like I said, is crazy and didn’t help me feeling very overwhelmed and not saying any of the things I wanted to but I DID get to give them the cards I wrote them. Brian also said it’s good to look into the audience and see a familiar face (again, insane to be recognised) at which point I said “thank you I don’t like being perceived” and sweet girl Lauren said “don’t worry we won’t do it anymore” (we proceeded to make eye contact at multiple shows so it’s good I was kidding)

At the second meet and greet (where I was way more chill) most of them were in the lobby beforehand and when Brian said they were going to start checking people in he gave a thumbs up and when I did it back he turned to just Marli and I and gave another thumbs up. This time Marty did ask my name and Brian immediately goes “we know Sam” (INSANE). I think it was Corey who said something along the lines of fancy seeing you here and I was like okay relax but frankly they were all very sweet for how sick of me they should be at this point. Almost right away they thanked me for the cards without me saying anything and they were all really nice and genuine with it but I swear to god Joey and Lauren were acting like nobody had ever given them a card before. This was also when Lauren put her hand on my arm and I did leave my body for a second. Might put the clip at the end of this post. I said Gross Prophs was probably my favourite show and Lauren said same and Brian was like Sam can say that you can’t say that (cute I love them). When Joey asked if wanted to do a pose obviously every thought I had went out of my head so he was like “got it, spies” and Lauren laughed and said “okay Joey’s doing spies” but was also touching him trying to get him to stop and I’m like guys get a room. Also spoke to Ali afterwards because she spoke to me first while I was waiting for Marli so we got to chat about the music. Queen!

What I’m glad I did NOT notice during the meet and greet or I might have been less chill was Joey wearing the bracelet I gave him (makes me SO happy I can’t even say) and also his rings and Lauren wearing her rings (so her wedding and engagement rings touched me and I feel really normal about that). I only noticed when the Spies screening was starting which is also when one of the most insane moments of the shows happened when Lauren was leaving, spotted Marli and I and waved directly. to. us. before doing a more of a wave to the room. Did not help the parasocial relationship but she does lowkey love us :’)

In Gross Prophs there’s a part of the show where they ask if anyone’s been to an event like this before so the two of us raised our hands and they pointed us out and were like okay two people, but that’s why it made it SO insane when at the end of COD Joey shouted out the people who had gone to the Melbourne shows and travelled to Sydney like.. that was for US. He also waved to us as we were leaving the room and said “we love you guys thank you”. And when he came out while we were at the merch stand he was telling people they’d be back so I asked if they’d please also come back to London and he said we’ll see you soon referring to ICBIBALLTAY I couldn’t quite tell if he was saying it in a reassuring way or in a girl fucking relax way (I do think more the second) but he was like we’ll see you so soon and I’m like so true king but I wasn’t thinking about that because I meant TCB.

Anyway I love them all SO much and I’m so sad the experience is over but I’m so grateful I got to end my tinlightenment experience like this and share it with Marli and everyone should get the digi tix (GP and Great Debate already available!)

[haru-mmd]

Introduction (Revamped)

Hello, my name is Haru, and welcome to sodorblog!

Before I get to introductions, here are some rules and tags to help you out

This Blog May Post NSFW Occasions, I have a Patreon for that one.

DM For Link

but it will be censored/cropped, and tagged as mature. so if you don't want to see that. Block this tag (#spicy rabbit) as every post that has suggestive nudity will have this tag.

I also Post A lot of Cars, as I am also a major gearhead XD

so if you see some post about cars, don't be surprised X3

we are a judge-free zone, any negativity will be stomped out asap.

feel free to ask anything as im sure the Steam team is more than happy to answer

one more thing is to have fun! and feel free to use my pieces for pfps for chatbots on AI stuff as long as you don't take credit. lmao

______________________________________________________________

with the rules out the way here are some tags to help you find out which post is what

#the rabbit is tweakin - general art post

#spicy rabbit - Suggestive Post (censored obviously)

#Rabbit talks - Not an art post but either an announcement or goober shenanigans.

______________________________________________________________

With those out of the way, here are some introductions!

Starting with the Host of the blog!

______________________________________________________________

Haru Yakumo:

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Species: Youkai / Rabbit

Sexuality: Gay Married

Hobbies/Jobs: Caretaker of the Multiverse, Mechanic on weekends, Blogger/Streamer on his days off, Spending time with his husband gordon and All his Family, Games with thomas And Percy.

Personality: Menacing at times but Is a real friend.

Secrets: Redacted

______________________________________________________________

Gordon Gresley:

Age: 42

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bi, Married

Personality: Arrogant at times but Caring

Hobbies/Jobs: Pulling the Express, Spending time with his Husband Haru, Gossiping with Henry and James. Gambling at the Casino With Scott.

Secrets: He helps out with Farmer McColl with the cattle.

______________________________________________________________

Scott Gresley:

Age: 40

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bi, Taken (Henry)

Hobbies/Jobs: Driver of the Flying Scottsman, Gambling with Gordon at the Casino, Spending time with Gordon and Haru, Goes to a Racing Track to race in his High end Modded Cars (modded by Haru)

Personality: Confident and Energetic

Secrets: He Used to have feeling for Haru, but then he met Henry.

______________________________________________________________

Henry Stanier:

Age: 40

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay, Taken (by Scott)

Hobbies/jobs: Walks in Nature, Pulls the Flying Kipper, and goods, helps in any way he can, gossips with Gordon and James.

Personality: Gentle and kind, rarely Boastful, always a worrier

Secrets: Secretly is a Metalhead

______________________________________________________________

Thomas Billinton:

Age: 22

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual

Hobbies/Jobs: Running his Branchline, shunting trains for the big guys, Playing tricks on those he gets annoyed of, Cares about his family. Gaming on his days off with percy and Haru.

Personality: Clumsy trickster but kind when deemed so.

Secrets: He talks to Lady In his Dreams. (Possible Foreshadowing??)

______________________________________________________________

James Hughes:

Age: 26

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Gay Poly Taken

Hobbies/Jobs: Mixed Traffic Engine, Spending time with Edward, Super model on his free time. Goes out often with Friends.

Personality: Boastful and Social Butterfly

Secrets: He Actually cares deeply for everyone but is bad at showing it (poor bebe)

______________________________________________________________

Edward Pettigrew:

Age: 30

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual, Poly taken

Hobbies/Jobs: mixed traffic, helping engines when asked, banker, walks among parks or countryside, Going to cafes with Haru and Gordon (who probably has coffee in his veins), reading, therapist on the weekends, spending time with James on days off

Personality: Kind and Wise, Reasonable

Secrets: He Drinks on Occasions.

______________________________________________________________

Percy Hudwell:

Age: 21

Gender: Trans (FTM)

Sexuality: Gay Taken

Hobbies/Jobs: Mail Delivery, Hanging out with Bill and Ben (Another foreshadow???), Video Games with Thomas and Haru, The big guys Station Pilot.

Personality: Cheerful and Bubbly, but often at times fearful like henry

Secrets: Not as Innocent as he looks

______________________________________________________________

Daisy Cammell:

Age: 46

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight Poly

Hobbies: Make-up, Pulling Passengers, Admiring herself, Take Vacations.

Secret: Not sure, she keeps to herself often.

______________________________________________________________

That is all for now, Thanks for Reading!!!

[wigglebox]

First, I absolutely love your illustration style you did for #spnfanart with the soft rounded facial / body features. I think it adds to the overall softness of destiel. Second, I hope I'm not overstepping by asking this question, but do you take patrons, e.g., anyone that would like to give a few bucks to support your art. Thanks!! :D

howdy! thank you so much for your kind words! i know my style has shifted a bit [actually going back to how i used to draw] so thank you!

and you're not overstepping! once i'm done with my portfolio [which hopefully will be soon] i may open up commissions. depending on how the world of social media goes, I have been debating a Patreon, not one with expensive tiers, just so i can concentrate my work and maybe do some videos and tutorials on stuff and what not.

but that's planning i gotta do and my first thing i gotta do is finish my portfolio so i can start applying for some work haha

thank you! <3 I have a couple printable coloring books up on my Etsy, but they're the round-nose style!

i'm also considering redrawing a destiel huevember challenge i did years ago for another coloring book so - i will announce here whenever that happens! I'm hoping by March, everything can get set up!

i'm always nervous doing this bc idk how many people would actually be interested in it lmao

[rawmeknockout]

i have some thoughts about degrees of lewdity but this isn’t a review these are just my opinions and observations

i want to preface this by saying, although i like text based smut games, im not some connoisseur and i haven’t played that many. really my deepest exposure is fenoxo’s games and maybe a handful of others i haven’t played in a while.

so i totally went in blind, i have seen the names of characters floating around and ive read a fic or two about it on here if the set up or summary piqued my interest, but i already had some preconceived idea of what it was about and the general set up (i ended up so wrong lmao) so i didn’t bother looking up anything about it because i was fairly certain i knew it was about your player being in college and interacting with the town or whatever

i had the view it was like friday night funkin??? not in gameplay or story but like that generally it has a lot of hype around it and a pretty voracious community (i was already aware of mods for the game so i think that also made me think of fnf which also has a lot of mods) and that most of the appeal is the hype built up around the game. not saying that’s bad but that was my general idea/opinion of it idk why lmao

i was kind of white man jumpscared by the actual contents of the game. i didn’t find any of it triggering necessarily but i didn’t expect it to lean so hard into certain fetishes. im pretty desensitized to a lot of hardcore kinks in smut so it wasn’t a deal breaker for me bc i was still interested in checking out the game, and there’s options in the default game to turn off certain interactions, but i definitely think people should look up the trigger warnings for the game first and not just jump into it blind like i did. i had a totally different idea of the game so i didnt even think i needed to look up what it involved.

in my brief experiences of the game through the fandom, i imagined it as a college student in a sex game sorta akin to things put out by fenoxo now, but it’s more like the first Corruption of Champions (which you can only find through an internet archive these days probably because of the contents of the game idk if fenoxo has disavowed it or whatever but they’ve certainly left that project i believe because they also have a patreon that they rely on)

your character is a high schooler and i believe it’s mentioned they just turned 18? there’s a disclaimer that all characters are 18+ but i don’t think it’s ever mentioned in game or if it is its like a passing thing. not that like,, ages are ever heavily mentioned in any media but i know there are some people who would like it explicitly stated. in my opinion, going into any 18+ game, i just expect all characters to be 18+. id prefer them even older than that but ive never come across a game where i was jumpscared by a minor.

i think it’s set in a high school because that gives stricter penalties and set ups for consequences? if your in college and you skip class no one’s gonna hold it against you because you’re paying to skip school lol that’s the penalty. also high school tends to be a pretty traditional set up for a game it gives the creator the opportunity to involve a learning mechanic and sets a place for interactions and a structured time table for most of the week. another function is that, as a porn game, some people are in to being barely legal and an object of sexualization because of that. the game leans heavily on having authorities outside of the players control because as it turns out the whole town is essentially hell. we are straight up in the devils asshole right now and we don’t even know it.

one of the most stressful things going in on the first game is the need to make money, you owe money to the orphanage caretaker and you need it by the end of the week every week and this mechanic does NOT go away. it increases until it caps out at £2000. the game is in britain? so you know you’re in for a bad time.

the game is pretty hard going in i’m not gonna lie maybe im just a filthy casual when it comes to smut games but i found the penalties for repeated encounters, which are hard to escape from, racked up quickly. i was playing on normal but there is a soft mode, but i personally just wanted the regular experience of the game. i get that it’s realistic, in a sense, to have trauma and stress pile up quickly but if you let it get out of hand you get sent to the asylum!!! which is not much better!!! and when you get out you still owe money to Bailey when you haven’t been able to work 😭 very real very landlord

after playing the default game for a little bit i quickly searched for a better looking mod. part of the appeal of the game is the customizable character. i am fine with a gaia looking avatar but i just prefer the Bees mod avatar. i believe its one of the more popular mods but other than that i haven’t looked for any other, partly because i play in browser. i dont really like to download games if i can help it bc i play on ipad while im scrunched up in bed like a cozy shrimp.

my favorite named NPC is Sydney, followed by Avery. Avery gives you and has old man dick so im weak. Sydney, i haven’t played all of his content because i don’t want to lower his purity 😔 i know a lot of his content is locked behind that but he’s so sweet and cute i don’t want to. i will probably eventually. Sydney is your one bastion of normal interaction (other than Robin and even that isn’t true for long) in a sea of fucked up. Sydney also is a member of a cult. 😀 a cult that you can get involved in at your own risk. don’t do it.

the worst is probably Kylar. at least with high combat you can take care of Whitney, with Kylar he’s just a freak. he’s cute in some instances but in others he’s unbearable. he can also kidnap you and apply the stockholm syndrome status effect. 🤨

i generally, through every game i play, do the typical ‘good guy’ route. even in a game i have a hard time escaping the socially acceptable response and not doing the ‘right’ thing. this is true when i play COC or Trials in Tainted Space or really any game any genre. i’ll probably explore other routes but i wont be happy about it. idk i like to play good guy i like to be nice. my combat skills built up quick as a result because you will get into so many assault encounters but i think thats true regardless.

btw don’t bother with any other job unless you want to do sex work, just work the temp agency the entire week. it’s closed on weekends but it’s the most reliable source of money imo and doesn’t have a strict time table other than opening and closing. you can just go in and work whenever. if you get the boss to like you he’ll give you a bonus too.

i ended up looking for info on certain features and stories of the game which led me to reddit, as searches often do, and i inadvertently found out more info about that game AND the creator which dampened my idea of the game, but not necessarily in the way you would think. while i am generally enjoying playing, although it can be difficult bc it relies a lot on combat in interactions and you don’t like get to fight in a traditional sense (it can be hard to tell how ‘strong’ your character is i guess? lmao), i found out that despite the actual hardcore contents of the game, that include trafficking, there is no abortion feature. which is so funny to type out. however the creator has made it abundantly clear there will never be an abortion feature?? which okay i just have to say that’s a wild feature to have in game anyway but it makes sense!!!! because it’s a porn game where your character can get pregnant!!! but if you use the cheats version that is available in the options, you can delete a pregnancy HOWEVER it makes it very clear in the text accompanying the cheat that “this is not an abortion, this is a cheat”

look, deciding to add that is, in itself, betraying a sort of political stance no matter how much you wish to avoid it. i’ve heard through others that the creator wants to convey the actual trauma of SA, which obviously can include carrying a pregnancy you don’t want, however having an abortion you don’t want is also traumatic??? as someone with a vagina, living in a place where i cannot do as i wish with that vagina, it left me with a feeling of distaste towards the creator and the game. in a game where your creator can get SA’d BACK TO BACK you cannot then deal with the potential outcome of that??? you just have to like carry it if you don’t use the cheat version? it’s easy enough to access but the text accompanying it is blatant.

i believe that this is because the creator relies on donations on their website and because of the contents of the game they aren’t allowed to have a patreon (but don’t quote me on that because i haven’t checked the main site all i know is that certain games have had to change their contents bc patreon wouldn’t allow them to continue functioning on their site as is) which i am sympathetic to, however uuuh making a statement next to your cheat is in itself a way of signaling politics. in my opinion. as someone this actually affects. lol.

i think the creator has made a statement regarding some of the interactions as people in costume? maybe to like give plausible deniability? but like,,, the game is what it is because you made it that i would just lean in to it. they might have a hard time tho finding somewhere to platform their game or gather donations because of that, so i dont think its the weirdest thing for them to deny the contents of their game as how they appear. im sorta just shrug at this moment, i would prefer someone to just take their creation as it is but its probably more to do with the rules and stipulations of places like paypal and certain domains. i wouldn’t know. i dont mean to come off judgmental or like this is some horrible transgression, i get that collecting money online is a hassle if your main source is a smut game and i have no experience doing that so again shrug. if its what they have to do its what they have to do. again i think its like COC where its almost been wiped from the internet and remade into COC2 by the creators, and even then they’ve had to change some of the contents because patreon and paypal are pretty stringent about their rules.

i’ve skipped a lot of the contents of the game because first i think tumblr would nuke me from orbit but also a lot of it is genuinely very dark and triggering. this is not a game you should jump into without looking up the setting and gameplay prior. you should most definitely at least look through the advanced options before starting the game and look at each option you can toggle on and off because it will give you a better idea of what you’re in for.

[millies-theme]

RUNS in here. i actually just caught that tag/ask game post as the top of my dash sjglkjfdg can i get uhhh: rabbleeggburt, eat, and shramp hehe

gog i love tumblrs tag system skhskdshdd

thank you!!! >w<

rabbleeggburt - this one's mostly me fucking around with shapes/different looks for a couple of my flight rising dragons!

(rabble on the left, Eggburt on the right) They're friends, but Rabble far more closed off than Eggburt who's a bright bubbly fellow (and they'd both beat the shit outta anyone who hurt the other) i haven't touched this one in a while, but i might go back and finish it soon ksdhsd

eat - this one's a little comic that i had intended to do in traditionally water colors, only to realize i have 1 (one) single sheet of water color paper, and i'm trying to not buy anymore until i move so i, well, have less to move. so i started doing it digitally, hit a bump and stopped rofl. which is kinda good bc i think i'm gonna ytghhhhhhhhhhhhppppp[= (ellsee says hello!) i think im gonna rework some of the panels. comic wise, its pre-scratch aauron and co, and mostly 'Haha, cermon's the only one who can get her wife to do certain things he doesn't wanna do :3"

shramp - this one has one whole exceedingly loose sketch, so there's all but one part of it :3 this is also one that's gonna be relegated to patreon/friends only section of my toyhouse bc it's characters i don't have up very publicly rn lmao (if and when i finish it haha)

[genericpuff]

saw a post criticizing lore rekindled a while back, and one of the points made was "it's unfair to rachel that someone else can profit off and make money off her work"

do you profit off lore rekindled??? i don't remember if you ever said that you were monetizing lore rekindled, so i'm unsure where this piece of information came from

I literally do NOT profit off Rekindled in any way shape or form, it's a Tumblr comic that's free to read, zero subscriptions, paywalls, or ads.

I did just recently open a Patreon and apply my Twitch channel to become affiliate, but 1. my Patreon doesn't have any paid members yet , 2. my Patreon won't be offering rewards that limit the reading experience of Rekindled (it's gonna be like random doodles n junk), and 3. I haven't even streamed since I applied for Affiliate and people are watching the streams for art and lo-fi, not for any sort of exclusive reading experiences that wouldn't also be accessible on Tumblr (you just get to watch me slowly work on Rekindled while playing FF XIV LMAOO) All of these restrictions I have in place is to prevent exactly what folks assume or accuse me - profiting off Rachel's IP. At the end of the day I just wanna create an AU fanfic project, even if it's created out of disappointment for what could have been.

I *do* spend a few hundred a month though for my assistant. So I'm working on Rekindled completely at a loss, out of my own pocket. So in that regard, even if I were to monetize any part of Rekindled... it wouldn't be for my own profitable gain, I'd maybe be able to cover some of my assistant fees 🤣 (but that's just hypothetical food for thought, because as I said above, I don't want to monetize Rekindled because of the potentially legal and ethical issues in doing so. Making money is also just not why I'm making Rekindled because it's something I wanna just do for fun! Money complicates things, turns shit into a job :'0) And let's be real, in that hypothetical scenario, I don't think any money I could generate on my free to read Tumblr project would come anywhere close to threatening Rachel's bottom line 🤣

And this isn't to throw anyone under the bus but when people get suspicious of Rekindled profiting off LO, I can't help but think of the actual fans of LO selling handmade LO merch on Etsy and LO-style adoptables and other arts and crafts dedicated to their favorite comic. And I'm not gonna judge them for that, more power to 'em if people wanna buy their cool stuff (and some of it is really REALLY cool, like I wanna buy their stuff too LOL), I just think it's ironic that people separate the two because... I'm not a diehard fan? Or because Rekindled has gotten popular here. Beats me. All that "popularity" is still just a niche remake of a niche comic in a niche medium. It's not Spiderman Lotus levels of big 🤣 but I know it probably feels that big to people who are engaged with this fandom and spend a lot of time in it.

There's an opposite side of being a yes man that perpetuates similar behavior on the other side - when you come up with reasons to rag on someone just for the sake of it because you can't rationalize them NOT being the all 100% pulp of evil LMAO (and I see people do this even to Rachel and it's not fair imo, like people who use the Lolita thing as a way to accuse Rachel of being a legitimate pedophile? Like no, I don't think we should be normalizing serious accusations like that. I think she's just misinformed in a lot of ways at worst and suffering from dark romantasy porn brainrot at best LOL).

Like, as an example, I've also seen people claim stuff like I'm in the fan spaces telling people not to read LO and to read LR instead? Which like... why would I do that, LR isn't for the fans anyways and I don't gain anything by being a dick in their space 🤣 If my own readers are doing that, that's out of my hands (but respectfully don't do this please!!! there's a reason I don't use the standard LO hashtags and only stick to the anti ones!!!!) but again (and this is a big assumption so take with grains of salt) I think people just like to claim these things because they feel it's just naturally the right thing to do when someone who has opinions they don't like actually puts them into action. Because now they can't say shit like "well if you think you're so much smarter than Rachel why don't YOU write the story!" and "you don't know what it's like to manage a comic!" so they grapple onto whatever other argument they can even if it's misconstrued or entirely pulled out of thin air and not backed up with any legitimate evidence.

Their perspectives make sense to them. My perspective makes sense to me. I don't blame people for being suspicious when they see someone like me pour this much time and effort and money into a project like Rekindled, they assume it HAS to do with something they can rationalize from their own point of view, like wanting to "steal" Rachel's work or profit off it or take it for myself out of "jealousy".

Sorry to disappoint y'all with a boring answer, but I'm just someone who was once a huge fan of LO and couldn't let it go. I'm just someone who's way too hyperfixated, with a lot of passion for making comics and experience to match. I'd still be making it even if I didn't have an assistant. I'd still be making it even if I was stuck working with nothing but paper and pencil. Because I love making it and I love what it means to me, and I love that it makes other people feel the same way I do about it.

And that's really all I have to say on that.

[slasheru]

Slasher U Update Roadmap: End of 2023!

Holy crap, it's been a hell of year, hasn't it?! Slasher U Act 1 came out at the end of April 2023 and there's been SO MUCH that's changed!

Things that were added in post-launch Slasher U Act 1 updates:

Sawyer's entire romance arc, storyline, and hookup/makeout games

Outfits

Bartending

The ability to talk to Dark Tate post-coitally

Butterflies and crows (fighting crows used to crash your game)

The entire good UI

Characters including Cliff, Stitcherella, Jennykind, Paisleigh, Tanya, and I'm pretty sure Kennedy was a very early addition, too

And that's not counting the tweaks, fixes, and content! In the interest of continuing to Ship of Theseus this game into the best dating sim ever (no biggie, right?), I have the following updates planned before the end of 2023 for Act 1!

Accessibility settings: A way to opt out of minigames with a random roll based on your personality stats (different stat per minigame as appropriate!)

Refining the places you can get personality points in Act 1

Customization: Cane accessories! These will run on a different band than outfits so you can mix and match them/equip them alongside outfits!

Finance: I made everything in the game on the pricey/"realistic" side and the money you get from gigs relatively low because A) college and B) i kind of thought it would both be funny/reflective of shitty college jobs AND a nice incentive to grind some minigames but. I think the economy needs a bit of a fix, right? ;) (in the meantime, try typing InfiniteMoneyVent with the caps correct in the Cheat Codes menu when you're in-game! Your wallet will be a little fuller!)

There are 27 major bugs left in the list for me to tackle as of now, most of them are routine but there are 3 or 4 harder ones to tackle (naming save files is being a beeeetch specifically because afaik Wolf wipes any additional system string variables even if you specify a larger variable count list? My engine just is like "naw actually I'm not saving that"?)

Prior Planned Quality of Life Stuff: Either a way to name your save files OR a way to make your character name appear under your save file (this used to happen but there was a bug where all names would default to your last used character name)

WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAIL I'm still trying to fix the text box bug! This actually isn't borked in the vanilla version of the WRPG engine but I can't fucking figure out how to fix it with the way I've set up the UI (I think? I THINK?!). This is realistically the last bug to get fixed due to my own ineptitude, so I'm hoping to A) make autosaves automatically turned on and B) making Data 1's save slot unusable so it's reserved for autosaves!

There's ALSO a couple content updates for Act 1 still (nothing major, except for, uh, ONE MAJOR THING, haha):

The Truth or Dare minigame/scenario is now going to be included in the Act 1 game, but take place after the Act 2 bumper (post-murder-attempt)

This is already in there but the preamble for Dark Tate's continuing storyline, and Laila's Act 2, activates after the murder attempt

I'll be adding Hex, Juno, and Sawyer's Act 2 lead-ins, plus regular Tate's lead-in, as I work on Act 2

Resolving the storylines (or, if you're being a Chaotic Evil type of player, ruining everyone's life) with story choices/quests for non-dateables: Act 2 will include more Sawyer/Horsemike story, and personal quests for Melyssa, Professor Plutonium, and partially Veronika/Archibald (theirs will continue into Act 3)

Maybe I'll let you fight crows again. MAYBE.

I'm ALSO working on Act 2, which has a lot of new features (notably permanent cosmetic upgrades like a piercing system and tattoos) as well as new content (obvi lmao), but I really want to find a way to offer early access passes to folks who didn't make it to the Crowdfundr (maybe via Patreon)?

Here are some Act 2 features that I'm excited to include/are already being worked on (you'll recognize a lot of these from fanvotes!)

Piercing/Tattoo Parlor

Headless Horsemike one-off hookup minigame

Tate's movie date (yes it's scripted and implemented, it'll be in the next Act 2 update lol. I KNOW I KNOW :D )

Being able to run the speakeasy/sex dungeon as a little moneymaking game in and of itself (well. More for the speakeasy. The sex dungeon is mostly for sex. You're welcome, Sawyer Enjoyers)

Being able to gift outfits to dateables

I'm personally super hype for Tate's storyline (which also involves some other students?? ooo????) and how that's going to mechanically shake out, PLUS, tattoos. Oh my god. TATTOOS GUYS. Plus, the piercing system works like IRL-style - you have to get pierced, then buy jewelry for your piercing if you want to replace your starter/healer gear! I'm a big fan of body mods IRL and having a more realistic piercing/tattoo system was important to me!

Can't wait for next year AND to bring y'all more Slasher U!!!!!!!!! Making video games is literally my favorite thing to do in the whole wide world and I can't imagine doing anything else with my life :')))) (one day I'll be able to do this FULL-full time instead of on top of reviewing medical documents and drawing IP comics for Big Corpo)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BEST FUCKIN' 6 MONTHS OF GAME DEV I COULD EVER FUCKING ASK FOR!!!!!!!!!! You guys rule :')))))))))))

xoxooxoxoxoxox, Professor Plutonium

[white-weasel]

Ideal Hypothetical Saw Film Reroll episode(s)

(This is something I’ve been thinking about as I’ve watched through the movies and @afoxnamedmulder also formally asked about it so I took that as full permission from him to just start spewing my every thought about these two things together. This post is hyper niche and for literally like 3 people but idec lets gooooo)

So the first thought is if the Film Reroll crew were to ever reroll Saw it would obviously be the first one. It’s the most culturally relevant one and the one that most fits with what I can see the show doing. In the case of rerolling Saw I, ideally the players would not have seen the movie. Like I said, since this is the most culturally significant one this might be hard but I’m gonna go off of both vibes and play style for this one and just hope that it works

For the GM it’s gonna be Paulo. I just feel he could do the cramped space of the bathroom justice and bring in new “challenges”/obstacles to keep things moving.

Playing Lawrence Gordon, and this is gonna sound crazy please bear with me, I think we get Carolyn Faye Kramer. My reasoning for this is that the Lawrence of Saw I is someone who, despite his task being to kill Adam and cut off his foot, does not actually have the ability to do it until the very end when his family is threatened. If we put Jon or Scott here, Gordon is shooting Adam within the first 15 minutes of the movie. Carolyn I feel can play someone very conflicted about the choice and also won’t immediately jump to trusting whatever Jigsaw is saying on the tape. She’s willing to cooperate with her fellow player and only if she’s pushed to take things into her own hands will she start trying to make moves, which I feel is fitting. (Also she’s the only cast member I feel like we can say 100% has never seen these movies lmao lest we forget the infamous Friday the 13th “I know who the killer is” fiasco” happening because she doesn’t like scary movies)

My first choice playing Adam Faulkner-Stanheight would be none other than Joz Vammer themself! I think they could really get the tone of the character down full stop. The mixture of outbursts and jokes, but then also throwing things at the wall to see what sticks in getting them out of there. I feel like Joz also would not accept the zero sum game presented by Jigsaw and would work to find a way for both Adam and Lawrence to get out together, which is really what you need for this movie. In my heart I feel like Joz has seen the movie, but for this scenario I would hope not because…

The twist in this reroll would be there has been a 3rd PC the whole time: Zep Hindle. I would LOVE for Tim to play Zep. He could 100% play this quiet, envious guy given instructions to carry out his part of the game. My imagining for this would be he and Paulo had a session before the main game that was all about how Zep handled the set up stuff with Alison and Diana.

And then I’m envisioning the bathroom game sessions are happening on a Zoom call or the like, and Tim is sitting with Paulo in his apartment, letting him know what Zep is doing if/when phone calls to the outside world are happening and stuff. Also Paulo could totally call for “breaks” in recording where he’s actually conferring and rolling with Tim on what Zep is doing. The knowledge Zep gets is basically the equivalent of him getting to know stuff because of the camera set up in the movie. This would probably be a logistical nightmare to actually record, but I like to think that the payoff would be awesome. Like it gets revealed there was a secret third player in the episode, Joz and Carolyn are shocked, and then the edit goes back in time to show key tidbits of Tim’s turns and such. They could even release the full audio of it then on Patreon lol

The reveal at Zep being a PC rather than an NPC also kinda parallels/coincides with him not actually being Jigsaw from the original movie too. He’s not the one actually making things happen, he’s all a pawn in the game as well

HOWEVER I also had the thought - if the crew does Saw they don’t HAVE to do the first one. They didn’t do the first Friday the 13th and hell, their first episode is literally Back to the Future 2, not the first movie. If the crew just wanted to do a Saw episode to focus on the trap aspect when they’re playing, I think they could play as the Fatal 5 from Saw V (blatant Saw V bias showing here, don’t look at me, but also I genuinely think this is the group game most conducive to being rerolled). It’s also very likely that none of them have seen Saw V, so the “twist” with the traps being all survivable wouldn’t be known to them

It was between Saw V and Saw II because those are the two group games where all of the participants are free to work together and it’s not reliant on one person. I like Saw V better because I feel it can be self contained more than II. With II you have to deal with the fact Amanda is in on all of it and idk I feel like that just doesn’t work as well for a ttrpg setting. Casting for this one is a lot more vibes based and I have less concrete answers, so I’m open to suggestions

GM - Paulo once again. King of making this all work

Ashley Kazon - Carolyn (don’t know too much about Ashley but I want Carolyn in this movie and feel she could work this)

Charles Salomon - Scott (he could do it. He could bring the smarmy vibes and even though he wouldn’t know the line “I’m an Investigative Journalist for 👆The Herald👆” he would know it in spirit)

Luba Gibbs - Jon (first of all, we don’t get Jon to play women enough on this show. I love him playing Annabelle in Jumanji. Secondly, I think he can play Luba’s cut throat nature well. However I also wouldn’t mind Lisa in this role. I think she could play it well also)

Mallick Scott - Andy (he might be a bit too sedate for this, but also he’s the one I trust the most to play into the inevitable guilt complex that would be put on his sheet so)

Brit Stevenson - Kara (she could 100% do corporate woman who cares only for her own survival until she realizes that she doesn’t HAVE to care only for her own survival. I believe in her)

No twist in how the gameplay happens here, the only fun thing would be to see if the cast would be able to figure out Jigsaw’s message in that they can all actually work together to get through the traps.

FINALLY the most self indulgent thing and the thing they would never actually do because it technically wouldn’t be the movie itself is they would give us an apprentice campaign with the mainline apprentices working together before the start of Saw III/Saw IV, each of them with their own specific, secret objectives they’re hoping to achieve:

GM/John Kramer would be Paulo

Amanda would be Joz (Fairly self explanatory I feel. They have the range to play her. They would GET her)

Lawrence would be Andy (I feel Andy could pull off apprentice Lawrence. Lawrence strikes me as someone in the shadows during his apprentice work, biding his time, and I can see Andy bringing that sort of thing to Lawrence. At the same time there’s some room to develop apprentice Lawrence’s motivations and character so I would be interested in seeing what he’d do for him)

Hoffman would be Scott (Hoffman was the hardest for me to pin down in this line up but I think I like Scott as my pick for now. Open to more thoughts about this one though.)

In every scenario there would be will rolls up the wazoo. I feel like will stats in this would be fairly normal, it would just be the penalties that would make the rolls hard. So I like to imagine that cutting your own foot off is probably a -5 penalty or something, but if you’re in immediate, imminent danger or you have credible reason to think your family is in danger you’d get some bonuses back to make it a less tricky roll. Also numerous fright checks would also be on the table I’m sure, as well as senses of duty or different traits people will have to resist. I think building the character sheets for this would be fun, though it would be interesting to see how it would get balanced out by Paulo when actually playing

[callmearcturus]

curious about your on-the-go fic-writing keeb and how it's set up. also the whole switches post gave me the incredible desire for some sort of "what's in my bag" sitch. thank you i liked reading about your switch opinions.

Oh hell yeah sure.

So my mobile keyboard is amazing.

This is an EPOMAKER NT68. It's a 65% bluetooth keyboard that I have used to, at this point, write about 80% of the PT Benji AU. It's a fucking joy to use.

I got it on sale from Bezo's Store for about 70 bucks (it's 95 right now). At the time, it came with Gateron Blacks installed but literally like seven of the fucking switches had bent pins and had to be replaced. It came with five spare switches so I was p pissed.

Which, I was fine obvsly because I keep buying switches on the cheap.

Okay but about this specific keyboard:

EPOMAKER NT68

Haimu Whisper Silent Tactile switches (which I LOVE, very good feedback without a ton of sound, great of typing at work)

Cannoncaps CXA Superplum (which is to to date the only caps I have ever paid full price for which I should not have done except they might be my Actual Favorite Profile. this is unfortunate bc they fucking never going on sale, but that special spacebar shape is incredible)

my lil vinyl record player artisan was a gift 8) the maker is 2Tcraft on Etsy

What I love about this keyboard is that

It allows for three BT connections at a time, so i can swap from my phone to my home PC to anything else with two buttons

the sound of it on a deskmat is actually one of my favorite noise profiles of any keeb I've used

it is the most portable keeb without going into weird Nuphy keebs (which I did consider a lot) or going Ortho (which I ALSO considered but this was before Akko put out an affordable Ortho option, god bless Akko)

it has a felt magnetic sleeve that can be folded around the keeb to protect it or into a lil triangle to prop your phone on, which I use all the time. when this thing starts wearing out, I will be very sad.

it fits into my cheapass Vera Bradley crossbody bag so i bring it with me everywhere and I have genuinely used it a fucking lot, like a LOT.

it is a major conversation starter, everyone at work wants to know more about it which is fun.

obviously I had switch issues with the stock keeb and had to swap out some non-working switches, BUT the stock is honestly very good otherwise and the caps it comes with feel perfectly fine. you can use them for a while without issue.

some caveats:

this thing is an investment. i told myself that basically this is what my patreon is for and I saved up for a few months to justify it to myself. i'm glad I did it but also Oof That Pricetag.

the software for this thing is fuckign incomprehensible. i have tried many many times to add some hotkeys to it and fucking forget it. I managed to turn off the lights and that's all I'm doing with it. if you want this for coding and need something very easy to add layers to, FUCKING FORGET IT. go get one of Drop's Orthos instead.

sometimes i type too fast for this thing lmao. it doesn't happen often but like if i'm REALLY going max speed, it will every once in a while (like once in a paragraph) miss a key. I'm fine with this because it doens't happen with casual use.

it is portable but you are gonna need to find a bag for it to fit into. It fits perfectly into a Vera Bradley Sling Backpack, which I picked up on clearance from my local Hallmark store oddly enough.